iamhis and heismine
smile. life's good.
So I want to apologize for not writing this blog a lot sooner than I should have… But I still wanted to catch you all up on what’s been going on lately and how leaving the Philippines was because that was still all part of the trip. I’ve been procrastinating a lot writing this blog because I know it’s going to take quite a bit of thinking and processing.
The last blog before this was March 19. That’s a long time to not write a blog. And I regret that.
The last three weeks of my time in the Philippines were very busy and hectic. I thought I would have had more than enough time to do all my last-minute things such as buying gifts for people, writing notes to my new friends, planning and hosting a couple parties, packing, and saying goodbyes — along with attending a few parties that other people were hosting. I went to all the ministries that I was involved in all the way up until the last week I was in Cebu. Which was adventurous. But it kept me so busy that I didn’t really have time to process that I was actually leaving in just a couple weeks. I hardly had time to think about how I may never see these dear new friends again. I tried taking as many pictures as possible with my friends and making as many memories so that I could keep them in my heart forever.
I really did make the best of my last few weeks in Cebu. Every worship session, every picture taken, every memory made, every moment spent, every story shared, every sermon spoke, every child held and treasured, every smile shown, every Jeepney ride, every smell, taste, sight, touch, and sound that I experienced unique to Cebu, I captured into my memory… To hopefully stay with me forever.
I prayed over and over every day… That I would not forget all that I had learned in Cebu. All that God had showed me and taught me. The way God became so real, the faith that I had developed, the way He encouraged me and reassured me that He was in control and that He is full of mercy and grace and faith.
I’m extremely encouraged by all the friendships I’ve made in the six months spent in Cebu. I found a home away from home. I found a family away from my family. I experienced such a trust, encouragement, laughter, joy, and even tears within so many friendships. I thank God for each and every person I came in contact with. And I have faith that I will return one day to this beautiful island we all call Cebu :)
I have been home now for three weeks and it has been interesting to say the least. While in Cebu I applied for many, many jobs for when I came home. None of which I heard anything from. In the last 4, or so, weeks of being in Cebu I started to process in my head what it was really going to be like being back home. Which was, at times, difficult to think about. I knew the culture shock would be tough. I expected to perceive my family, perhaps, in a different way, and I knew they would do the same about me. I just didn’t know how. I knew things were going to be a lot different in many ways.
The first week being home, since I hadn’t found a job yet, I had a lot of time to bum around the house and think, pray, and process everything. Which was great. But I quickly became restless. I needed something to get my mind off all the things I was thinking and missing about Cebu. I didn’t even want to be home at all. I wanted to be back with all my friends and ministries. I needed a job and I needed it fast. I applied for a few more jobs and within five days I had had been called, interviewed, and hired.
My social life has been somewhat strange. Some of the people that I called friends before, I almost could care less about now. Of course they’re still apart of my life, but they’re not exactly the most uplifting and encouraging kind of relationships… Which makes me not really care about taking the time to truly hang out with them. With that being said, I’ve even made a few new friends and have also deepened the relationships of yet others since being home. It’s been a process, to say the least.
To sum this blog up, I just want to say that it’s clear that God stayed with me through it all. When I had 50 cents left to my name during about the middle of the trip not knowing when or how the next support was coming from, I chose to trust God and He blessed me abundantly. He blessed me sooo much through everything and everyone that I came across. Through every trial and difficulty, He was there. Through every joy and laughter, He was there. He saw every tear that fell from my eyes, and He was there with arms open wide to hold me and comfort me. He was there to hold me up and keep me going.
Thanks to Skype, I was able to talk and see my family on a regular basis, which is what truly helped me not to give up even through all my homesickness.
AND THANK YOU TO ALL MY SUPPORTERS prayerfully as well as financially - I definitely could not have done with it without you all. God bless you and keep you forever!!!
“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
‘Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you’”
Hebrews 13:5
AMEN!
So I’m a little overwhelmed with past and upcoming events…
-Just spent a whole week with my great friend, Rachel, in Cebu.
-Was just asked to be a bridesmaid for this summer by one of the coolest girls I know!!!!
-Am falling in love.
-Get to go home in 3 weeks!!!!
-So super stoked to discover what God has in store for me next. Start a ministry, perhaps?
-There is one person in particular that I’m, for some reason, REALLY excited to see when I get home.
-Witnessed 12 of my Fervent friends get baptized.
-Celebrated my friend, Jonah’s, graduation.
-Was asked by two Fervent friends to help them get to Canada. Which I WILL most certainly do!!!
God is so good!!!
So to catch you all up with my latest status about extending my stay in the Philippines or not…
Well… I had it all planned out that April 25 was going to be the day I would fly out. My travel agent had it all arranged for me, all I needed to do was print papers, sign, and email back. I was informed of this on Friday. But Sunday morning after praying a ton more about it, I felt God really laying it on my heart that I needed to go home. All day Sunday I was super emo and depressed. I knew that I needed to obey God’s calling. So I started processing in my head all the good byes I would soon have to make. I wasn’t ready to go. I wanted to stay in this country for a long as possible. For as long as my emotions would allow me. But after I was able to admit it to myself that yes, this is what God is commanding me to do, the more I was able to process it, then admit it to others. All day I just wanted to cry and cry…
Now that I have processed that I’m going home April 7, my original date, I’m super duper excited to see my family. I can’t believe how much I miss them! It’s only been 5 months, but it’s five months completely out of my comfort zone, in a strange country and culture, away from everyone that I know, pressing onward every day, committing, surrendering. Every day is a challenge. And not having the back up of my family every day has been exhausting. But glory to God that I always have the back up of Him, which is sufficient!!
All that to say… I come home April 7, 30 days from now :)
Prayer requests are:
That I will find the job that God has picked out for me already.
Direction in my life back at home.
Comfort as I soon start to say my goodbyes.
Wow. So I really regret not posting about this before. But to be honest, I’ve been procrastinating because I know it’s going to take a lot of thought. So here we go.
A lot has definitely happened since the last time I wrote a serious note about ministry and life. Ginapadala International Incorporated (the organization that I orginally came to the Philippines to work with) has recently shut down their office which means I’ve had to find another place to live. They didn’t necessarily close the whole organization, just relocated and Rhonda has handed the ministry over to some one else. Bahandi is still in existance, but they are now located in a mall. So bascially Quennie, the one that I was living with in the apartment of the GII’s office, and I have found a different place to live. It’s a huge place, and I get my own big room AND bathroom. (Yay, I can walk out of the bathroom naked and not be worried about beeing seen. Baha). But it also means having to find whole new jeepney routes and directions which, I must say, I’ve been doing quite well with!
With GII shutting down, I guess you could say I’ve become completely independent as far as ministry goes. I was pretty independent already, but living in the office somehow kept me accountable to their organization in a weird sorta way which I can’t really explain.
The other day I was asked to help with childcare with another organization called PTI (Paglaum Training International) for about 8 hours a week. For a few months I’ve been wanting to get involved in that organization somehow, so when they asked me speficially to help with childcare, I jumped on the opportunity since I do have some time to spare :)
So between the five ministries that I’m involved with now, moving, processing having to make my goodbyes soon(ish), and still meeting new people and getting to know old people, I’ve been pretty busy.
Just a heads up, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT Send anymore mail!!!!! I’m leaving in one month and it takes a few months for one letter to get from Canada to my house. DO NOT SEND ANYMORE MAIL. Because chances are, I may never get it! Ha.
THIRTY MORE DAYYYYYYSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I’m super duper DUPER excited! Thirty more days until I get to see my GORGEOUS family!! Thirty more days until I’m in the arms of my blessed brother. Thirty more days until I see Mom cry with happiness that I’m back home with her. Thirty more days until I can make my sister laugh and see her beautiful smile. Thirty more days until I can hear the wonderful melodius sound of my other sister’s (in law) giggle. Thirty more days until I can jump on my other brother and let him kiss me on the cheek. Thirty more days until I can hold my stunning niece and touch her soft skin. I love my family.
Three things have been totally consistant with the connection of home and being here in the Philippines:
1) The daily card notes that my sister and the rest of my family wrote.
2) My Skype dates with Mom
3) Talking with my bestest manfriend, Ben, pretty much every single time we see each other on Facebook chat. Which is atleast every other day. And yes, this is a test to see if he actually reads my Tumblr notes. I love my brother from another mother! (Not actually brother from another mother. He’s my big bro in Christ.)
Yup… so Figaro, the famous coffee shop I always go to… is playing Christmas music. At first I was like “wait… what?” So I took out my ear plugs and listened more closely.. False alarm. No Christmas music. Then I heard it again “Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree… blah blah blah” (I don’t know the lyrics). NO WAYYY… It’s almost summer time in the Flips and they’re playing Christmas music.
Augh.
When I have to make a decision over which coffee shop is better, the one with the bathroom automatically wins.
I’ve had it far too many times where I’m sitting in Bo’s coffee shop in Ayala Mall, reading a good book, writing in my journal, or sitting on Facebook on my laptop, and I realize that I have to pee like a racehorse. What do you expect me to do? Drop everything I have and run to the nearest bathroom which is like…. somewhere not really close by, risking having all my stuff stolen??? Or to pack up all my stuff, take it all with me, and risk having my spot stolen which I waited so long for???
Or do I go to a coffee shop which actually has a bathroom, risking the lesser quality of coffee?
I would rather risk having a less flavourful coffee, to be honest. Because at the end of the day - the 3 dollar (yes, that’s very expensive for here) Cappuccino Frost tastes the same here at Figaro than anywhere else.
I don’t go to a coffee shop just to grab a coffee and run. I go to a coffee shop to sit and relax - it’s like my getaway place to think, reflect, read, journal - or write silly blogs on Tumblr like I’m doing right now.
(Yes, I just used the extremely nice bathroom, being able to leave my wallet, laptop, cellphone, iPod, book, journal, bible, devotional book, AND Cappucinno Frost sitting at the table outside.)
In conclusion,
Figaro > Bo’s
I am seriously looking into extending my stay for another two months. Please pray with me for God’s perfect will and direction.
And THANK YOU for all your prayers -
Finances have come in enabling me to pay my rent and buy some groceries. THANK YOU, LORD! For your provision! His timing is always perfect. I had 50 cents left… just enough to buy one last meal. And then I was able to access money from my account.
Luke 12: 24-25.
….were the words I kept hearing throughout the day of February 14 in the Philippines. It was an ordinary day for me, but apparently not for the Filipinos who kind of make a bigger deal out of it than what I’m used to.
We had our normal Tuesday morning devotions with Ginapadala staff, talked about love (of course) and that it’s not all between crushers, lovers, and infatuators, but that’s it’s also for parents, siblings, teachers, and coworkers. God first loved us, He’s the one that created it, therefore we, also, should love others as He has called us to do.
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear “Valentine’s Day”? If it’s the opposite sex or romace, please change your mentality! Valentine’s Day should be about sharing your love not only to your spouse, fiance, or boyfriend, but to your parents (who probably love you more than anyone else on this planet), your siblings (who have put up with all your crap and nonesense for the last HOW many years), teachers (who have helped, taught, and discipled you) and employers (who have graciously let you work alongside them and have given you a JOB). And most of all… God. Who has saved you, forgiven you, and LOVED you beyond your little mind can even grasp. The least we can do for Him and love others as He has loved us.
The rest of the day was pretty ordinary, other than seeing the love of my life in the mall… *ahem* but sadly, didn’t get to talk to him. (Please see previous posts to know what I’m talking about). I also went to say good bye to the people from Logos Hope ship (an organization through Operation Mobilization).
My day was all ordinary until I started walking to the weekly feeding I help at for the Lorega children. “ATE TRIXXXXXX!!!!!!” Is what I heard from four little girls on the street and bolted toward me, running at full speed, then gave me the biggest hugs. “Happy valen times day, Ate Trix!!” Then two of the four girls gave me little notes saying “Happy Valen Times Day. To: Ate Terix” Hehehe Please take note that in the Philippines saying Ate (pronounced attay) is like saying “big sister”.
After celebrating “heart’s day” with my regular Lorega kids, I walked home to find my housemate and her fiance at the house. Kuya (the male version of Ate, like saying “big brother”) Ring, presented to me a balloon flower and heart and wished me a Happy Valentine’s Day. Because this wonderful couple had already gone out the night before to celebrate their love and togetherness (to avoid the chaos from the actual day), they were free to relax the night of. And because of this opportunity, the three of us went out for shakes. :D hehehe.
OHHH my GOODness..
I saw the gorgeous Filipino from the jeepney with dreads today in the mall!!!! (read blog from five days ago) :-O My heart started pounding like crazy. I wanted to say hi soo bad, but he was walking away from me and didn’t even notice me… I still can’t believe I actually saw him again, though.
Bahhh…!! I guess I will be spending a lot more time at the mall in the next few days… :P
Today I would have been celebrating my four year anniversary with a great man. Last May we both had the feeling we should break up and go our seperate ways, and canceling our 5-month planned wedding. Now I’m in the Philippines serving God and doing full-time ministry with young women and street children. I’m grateful that God has replaced something good with something great.
Jeremiah 29:11
Hallelujah I can eat again!!!!!!! (A donation came in yesterday). Praise God!
“I strangled them and slit their throat and stabbed them now they’re dead,” Bustamante wrote in her diary, which was read in court by a handwriting expert. “I don’t know how to feel atm. It was ahmazing. As soon as you get over the ‘ohmygawd I can’t do this’ feeling, it’s pretty enjoyable. I’m kinda nervous and shaky though right now. Kay, I gotta go to church now…lol.”
This was written by a, at the time, 15 year old teenager who had just murdered a nine-year-old girl. I found this in my Yahoo! news when I went to check my email today. Reading the article almost made me vomit. How.. can this happen? Our wold is so corrupt with evil. I can’t help but wonder how Satan can have such control over my generation!
…
That’s all I have to say…
To read the whole article, please visit
http://news.yahoo.com/mo-teen-gets-life-possible-parole-killing-141938731.html
